The Childless One

She will be asked more times than you can imagine, when she is going to settle down, by men AND women. When is she going to find the one. When is she going to have kids. 

This is something we have got to stop. But it's hard because it's such a deeply engrained pattern in all of us, to enquire and be interested in other peoples lives, especially against the core traditional pillars of love and family. 

But. 

She might be living in silent trauma. 

She might be honouring unborn children by not bringing them into this world because he is not a good enough father. 

She might not be able to cope with another miscarriage.

She might not want to feel anymore like a woman of failure - that the one biological thing we are meant to do - isnt / cant / wont happen for her in the way it does for the majority.

She might be living with a broken heart. 

The questions may push her into a complete state of distress because she KNOWS the time is evaporating and her chances are changing. Girl. Life can change on a dime. Believe xx

She might be actively trying and it just isnt working despite the sacrifices, pain, needles, injections, foreign substances.

It might simply just be her choice. 

But. To me. As a childless one myself, this one is for the Woman who suffers the questions with dignity and charm, swallowing down her real reactions and feelings to be polite, to be good, to be compliant and not offensive. That pill for me gets harder to swallow. I dont know whether going through a divorce has exacerbated the questions and other peoples panic about me being childless or it has terminated the questions because its too uncomfortable to ask a childless woman at the age of 41.5 what the fuck she is going to do now. 

But this piece is for you - whatever your reasons. I want it to remind you that you are enough. That you are bright and beautiful and incredible and a GIFT to this world. You shine a light so bright. Brighter than most because your path and your journey has arguably more rugged terrain than most have to face. That most have to consider. 

I love you. The world loves you.